I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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