So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
