The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
