After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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