Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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