No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
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