listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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