I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
They have beer where we have blood.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
