watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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