but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
