Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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