I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
my poor anus
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
