No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
