Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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