Im at strip club and am horny
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Michael Bay diarrhea
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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