So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
