Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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