My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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