If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
