At least make sure they are 18
Why
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
