im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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