I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
