pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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