We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
