my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
