I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
