Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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