how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your cock deserves a montage
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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