I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
