i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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