dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
