Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
