I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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