That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
