I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
