This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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