I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
