So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
my poor anus
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
