Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
