It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
