If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
