yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
