Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
