Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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