Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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