Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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