my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
