Yo dont text me then not text me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
