Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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