I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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