is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
