Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
