I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
