Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I touched a dick in church today
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