she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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