we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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