wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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