Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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