I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list