So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream