a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I am one with the molecules
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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