I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
