First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
